Satire
Why are flying cars so appealing an idea to millions, perhaps billions, and maybe even trillions of people, all of whom think flying cars are the future of transportation?
To better understand this enthusiasm, we interviewed flying car enthusiast Bolt Awesome to get his views on our flying future.
P&P: Bolt, we understand you bill yourself as the “world’s foremost flying car fan.” Why is that?
BA: Because it’s true! And flying cars are amazing and I am their number one fan!
P&P: Have you ever flown or driven in a flying car?
BA: Duh. There aren’t any yet, so, no I haven’t.
P&P: Well, there was one that was approved by the FAA back in the late 40s, the Taylor AeroCar, and there are still a couple of them flying but it never went into serial production.
BA: Why not! It sounds awesome
P&P: Well, no one wanted to buy one and no one wanted to invest in the company.
BA: Well, people were stupid back in the olden days.
P&P: Okay!well, what would a flying car do that gets you so excited about them?
BA: Well, for one they’re awesome, and for two, they’re cars that fly!
P&P: Right. Let’s ask this way. How would you see yourself using one?
BA: Now, that’s an easy one. Ever been in a traffic jam. And you really want to get home but you’re stuck in traffic. With a flying car, you just take off and fly over the traffic and you’re outa there. So long, suckers!
P&P: Would you be able to take off in stop and go traffic? Wouldn’t the plane need some distance to take off?
BA: Nope, it would just go up and start flying.
P&P: So it would really be a flying car helicopter?
BA: I guess so. That would rock.
P&P: Why wouldn’t you just fly home in it to begin with?
BA: Duh again. Because, I don’t know. It’s a flying car so without driving it’s a just a plane!or a helicopter. You gotta drive it if it’s gonna be the car part too. Double duh.
P&P: But in that case, couldn’t you just have flown it all the way home to begin with.
BA: Sure. I guess so. Next question.
P&P: How else might you use a flying car?
BA: Okay, well, if you’re a pilot and you go to an airport and you have to leave your plane there because it’s not a car too, stupid old fashioned plane, and then there’s no way to get to where you’re going, ever thought of that?
P&P: Don’t almost all airports have rental cars or loaner cars, though?
BA: Of course they do, genius, but are any of them flying cars?
P&P: Touché. So, since this is apparently such a great idea, won’t lots of people want a flying car?
BA: Duh.
P&P: So won’t there be a problem with keeping flying cars from hitting other flying cars?
BA: Science would solve that. That’s the answer to that one. Ha!
P&P: !through some kind of autonomous dependent collision avoidance utility for which there would a standard developed?
BA: Who now?
P&P: Science would do that, right?
BA: Yes! That’s right. Sounds like someone is finally figuring this out.
P&P: And how would this work in the city? Wouldn’t there be a shortage of good places to land a flying car, not to mention a high risk of collision between the many flying cars in the city, and who wants a flying car to crash on top of them?
BA: I would. That would be awesome! Wait, maybe not in real life though. But yeah, in theory, yes.
P&P: Back to where they would land!
BA: At a giant flying car perch. They’d just hover over to them, like a hover bike only cooler, and then land there and you’d go where you were going.
P&P: Like it is for helicopters today?
BA: What? I guess so. But these are flying cars.
P&P: The difference between the two being!
BA: Ever tried to drive a helicopter?
P&P: No, we’d use a car for that.
BA: Exactly! No wait!
